Priority Three

"Teenagers don't rebel against authority; they rebel against the lack of relationship!" Family-iD

The third priority is the relationship with your children. I hope you heard me on that. This priority comes AFTER your spouse.  Many of us have child centered marriages and that is not what God intended it to look like. Work on this and you will be glad you did!  Children will gage your love on the time you spend with them. Is it enough to just have quantity time? No. Both quality and quantity build this relationship. Ask yourself after you spend any time with them, "Did I build my relationship with them in that time I just spent?" If the answer is no, then it isn't enough in and of itself. This includes attending sporting events, ballets and school performances. There is so much more than just punching your time card. Note to homeschoolers, I am learning this principle myself, just because we are home with our children all day does not constitute a relationship. Be intentional during your day to talk with your child, play with your child and learn how they accept love and be that to them.  Our family has found that bed time for our kids is when they open their soul up like a door and invite us in.  Be looking for your kid’s open hearts and pour into them at every chance. You will not regret it!

Your relationships are based on trust. You need to ask yourself if your children trust you.  Have you been true to your word? If not, go back and ask their forgiveness. Have so much humility that it becomes a powerful tool to build your relationship. Men need to be sure to speak their commitment to their family, their marriage and each child. This will give them a sense of peace that is invaluable. Remember how powerful the spoken word is.

When I was four, my neighbor’s parents got a divorce. I had never heard of divorce before, but I saw how it made my friend feel. Weeks later, I asked my mom if she and my dad were getting a divorce. They assured me that that would never happen. They had no idea how that thought had been brewing in my mind for those weeks. The worry and the fear was all there as if it was inevitable. Once I understood their commitment to each other, I was at peace. Again, that spoken commitment to our children regarding our marriage and family will bring peace and comfort to the hearts of each member of the family.

My goal with this blog is to teach you what I can about building your family unity so that you and your teens will be on the same team. They need to know you are in their corner. You need to know they have respect for you and trust you to guide them. This doesn’t happen because they are born into our families. This comes through some blood, sweat and tears. Well, hopefully, no blood.

We need to remember that Satan hates our families. He is out to bring ruin to your marriage. He is out for the heart of our children. The bible tells us that he comes to steal, kill and destroy, but God comes that you may have life and have it more abundantly. Guard against the devil’s schemes by putting Christ first, spouse second, children third. Once you have these three priorities in life, you will find that you have developed a life's message. With that message and your new family, you can change the world!

Eph 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

NEXT UP: PRIORITY FOUR