Writing your Homeschool Mission Statement

 

 photo credit

How many of you agree that it is a great idea to have a homeschool mission statement, but summing up everything you desire for your kids in a few sentences is a bit daunting? I know exactly what you mean, but it's really not that difficult to do if you will allow yourself a little bit of time to devote to it. In a few easy steps, you can have your mission statement on paper. I want to help you discover yours.

First, stop and pray. This is important because you want God's reasoning behind your homeschooling. It's unique to you and your children and there is no use in striving in our own strength. Striving in God's grace is the best way to homeschool and succeed!

Basically, we are going to decide on what we purpose to do through homeschooling. After praying, you will need to write down your values of homeschooling. Take out a pen and paper and start writing down words or phrases that capture your feelings about homeschooling. Think back on things you have said when people ask you why you homeschool.

Write down 10 things or so. Then, we are going to group them together. Ask yourself if you can combine your ideas in fewer words.

Here were my values not written in any certain order:

Godly character
Sibling unity
Respect for parents
God-fearing
Biblical world view
Life learning
Strong study skills
Excel
Work hard to overcome difficulties in education
Diligent
Take education serious
Parents are the main influences

Now see if you can begin arranging them in sentences. Think of a beginning line like, "We commit to..." or "We acknowledge God's call on our life to..." then begin filling in the rest. Feel free to make the mission statement as long as you like, but keep in mind it will be easier to remember if you keep it to a few sentences.

Here is ours:

"As long as the Lord allows, we commit to homeschool our children, first as a tool to develop strong Biblical character, sibling unity, and parental respect; second, to develop a love for learning, a habit of excelling, and a strong work ethic."

Pretty much all of my values are described within this paragraph whether specific or implied. This is something I can memorize and use as a metric to be certain each year that I am meeting our goals as parents through homeschooling.

Have you created your mission statement? I would love to hear it! 

Mission/Vision 101

“Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.” 

Joel Barker

Have you ever met a person with a successful business that started it without a business plan? Of course not!  Then the question begs to be asked, “Why would you start a family without a family plan?” This is seemingly our biggest responsibility, so why no plan?  In fact, I am a believer that family is God's strongest weapon to change this world. First, I want to lay some foundations before we get to the nitty gritty,  I encourage you to dive in, learn all you can, keep checking back for lots of new ideas and ways to propel this vision so that you can pass it on for generations to come.

A family vision/mission is there as a guide for you to measure your family against. A mission statement, for the most part, just states what you purpose to do. It is like a constitution. As you begin to write it out, I will let you know what it needs to include. Your vision statement shows a picture of how your life will look when you have accomplished your mission statement. It is a sentence that encapsulates your mission. There are more aspects to it than just a vision and mission statement. My blog will give you lots of info on many different things you can do and resources as well to help you on this exciting journey of building your family identity through team spirit.

In the Bible, we see that families passed on rituals, stories and traditions through generation after generation. The Rechabite family was a family that had followed the laws of their fathers for 200 years. They were to never to drink wine, build a house or buy land. They faithfully obeyed these commands of their fathers even though the people around them did differently. I would bet that they were isolated for their strange beliefs. However, when Jerusalem was ransacked by King Nebuchadnezzar, they simply folded up their tents and left Jerusalem all the while everyone else was taken captive. The laws that God gave their forefathers spared their very lives generations later. Obedience paid off. In fact, their family was saved not only from Babylon, but years earlier from the Assyrians for the same reason.

Knowing that the return of Jesus is close at hand, Christians don't value passing anything down. What if the Lord tarries 200-500 years? Have you prepared your family to pass down the laws of God to multiple generations? Most of us have not even given it thought. We just hope and pray that our children will all turn out. How short sighted we are!

If you can write a family vision and put down on paper the values that are most dear to your hearts, your children can memorize them and pass them down to future generations.

Our mission statement is finished and our children have memorized it. We also have our 100 family values written out.  My next action is to have them written on parchment paper and framed in our home. This is from now on a central topic in our home. We know God gave this as a vision of how our family is to look and He will make it a reality. Hab.2:2 says “I will give you my message in the form of a vision. Write it clearly enough to be read at a glance. At the time I have decided, my words will come true. You can trust what I say about the future. It may take a long time, but keep on waiting-it will happen! "

I can’t wait for each of you to discover God’s unique vision and mission for your family.

Blessings,

Turkana

NEXT UP: PRIORITY ONE

Priority One

Learn the value of being the best you can be in your family by living your life on purpose.

How do we take care of first things first if we don't know what is truly first? The bible says in Psalms 11:3, “If the Foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Our priority should always be God. It only makes sense if He is where it all began anyway.   He is our foundation.  If this is your priority, then your day will reflect that.

How? It will show in the way you spend your time. Do you spend time with Him every day, cultivating that most important relationship? Praying, conversing, reading your bible, and hanging out with like minded people will point you to Him first. We like the term "connecting to the vine". You will see in John 15 that Jesus is the vine and we are extensions of Him in this world to lead others to Him. Just like a tree that is healthy, we need to bear fruit if you will. That just means good things are in your character and your actions.

Once we make this the number one priority, we can continue on to the next.

The husband is the spiritual leader of the home. This means he should take the lead to initiate prayer and going to church as well as meaningful conversations about the Lord. Be sure to exemplify love and worship of God at home and not only in church. You can find biblical example of this as the Jews observed the Sabbath and the Passover at home.

“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior." (I Pet 3:1-2)

NEXT UP: PRIORITY TWO

Priority Two

"Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Eph 5:25

The second priority is going to be your spouse. If you do not have a spouse, don't stop reading. There is good news for you. The Bible says that the Lord is a "husband to the husband-less." Once you have dealt with priority one, skip on down to the 3rd priority. Also, I have added a post for single parents, people who have remarried or never been married and for grandparents.

For those who are married, do you live your life on purpose in your marriage? We always hear marriage takes work and it does. Be married intentionally; go out of your way to honor your spouse. Don't disrespect them, but rather have unconditional respect for them. If you have disrespected them, simply apologize. Treat them better than you would your boss, your friends and your coworkers. Make them your priority. They will cherish you for it and may even begin making you theirs! This will, in turn, build your relationship.

When conflict arises between spouses and when it is in front of your children, what you say and do to each other will affect generations to come.  

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” - Ephesians 4:29  

Don’t believe a lie that this won’t hurt your children. They will be affected by it and they will become it if something doesn’t change. Whenever conflict is present, whether it is between spouses or parents and children, silence is sometimes the easy way out for people. However, when you are silent, your family will understand that as rejection. Don’t underestimate the power of the spoken word.  Communication is the only way to heal your relationship, solve a conflict, grow in unity and to set a proper example.

"From the fruit of his lips a man enjoys good things..." Prov. 13:2

NEXT UP: PRIORITY THREE

Priority Three

"Teenagers don't rebel against authority; they rebel against the lack of relationship!" Family-iD

The third priority is the relationship with your children. I hope you heard me on that. This priority comes AFTER your spouse.  Many of us have child centered marriages and that is not what God intended it to look like. Work on this and you will be glad you did!  Children will gage your love on the time you spend with them. Is it enough to just have quantity time? No. Both quality and quantity build this relationship. Ask yourself after you spend any time with them, "Did I build my relationship with them in that time I just spent?" If the answer is no, then it isn't enough in and of itself. This includes attending sporting events, ballets and school performances. There is so much more than just punching your time card. Note to homeschoolers, I am learning this principle myself, just because we are home with our children all day does not constitute a relationship. Be intentional during your day to talk with your child, play with your child and learn how they accept love and be that to them.  Our family has found that bed time for our kids is when they open their soul up like a door and invite us in.  Be looking for your kid’s open hearts and pour into them at every chance. You will not regret it!

Your relationships are based on trust. You need to ask yourself if your children trust you.  Have you been true to your word? If not, go back and ask their forgiveness. Have so much humility that it becomes a powerful tool to build your relationship. Men need to be sure to speak their commitment to their family, their marriage and each child. This will give them a sense of peace that is invaluable. Remember how powerful the spoken word is.

When I was four, my neighbor’s parents got a divorce. I had never heard of divorce before, but I saw how it made my friend feel. Weeks later, I asked my mom if she and my dad were getting a divorce. They assured me that that would never happen. They had no idea how that thought had been brewing in my mind for those weeks. The worry and the fear was all there as if it was inevitable. Once I understood their commitment to each other, I was at peace. Again, that spoken commitment to our children regarding our marriage and family will bring peace and comfort to the hearts of each member of the family.

My goal with this blog is to teach you what I can about building your family unity so that you and your teens will be on the same team. They need to know you are in their corner. You need to know they have respect for you and trust you to guide them. This doesn’t happen because they are born into our families. This comes through some blood, sweat and tears. Well, hopefully, no blood.

We need to remember that Satan hates our families. He is out to bring ruin to your marriage. He is out for the heart of our children. The bible tells us that he comes to steal, kill and destroy, but God comes that you may have life and have it more abundantly. Guard against the devil’s schemes by putting Christ first, spouse second, children third. Once you have these three priorities in life, you will find that you have developed a life's message. With that message and your new family, you can change the world!

Eph 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

NEXT UP: PRIORITY FOUR

Priority Four

What does your life say?

Your life has a message. For the message to be developed, you will endure trials and suffering. God uses those to build our character and perfect us or make us mature in Christ. When the Bible talks about perfecting our faith or perfecting us, it does not mean that we have attained perfection, but rather it means “maturity”.

You and your family are called to something higher than existence. You have a purpose, everyone does. When the family is in order, the plan can be realized and though the trials can be very difficult, it creates a passion in you to lead others in the paths you have traveled.

"Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin." 1 Pet 4:1

Once your life’s message is deepened, you will see that your ministry or your business will have the influence you want it to in the people around you. God can use your ministry or business when you have proven trustworthy in the more important areas like His relationship with you and your relationship with your family. He is not interested in blessing the socks off of your business when the family He already blessed you with is in jeopardy. So many families today are being destroyed because we haven’t straightened out our priorities. If you are struggling with this, just ask God to help you. He desires to rescue your family. Again, be intentional about your life’s message. What do you want it to say?

“But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matt 6:33

NEXT UP: 100 FAMILY VALUES

Single Parenting and Family Vision

Are you a single parent and maybe you are wondering whether or not this can work for your family?

I wanted to emphasize that this site is just as much for you, a single parent, as it is for married couples. Your family may look different than mine and function differently based on your circumstances, but God has a plan for your family either way. Some may even feel they have made a mess of their family and that what I have written here is intended for families who haven't gone down the same paths. Not true!!

Please believe me when I say that this pertains to you just as much as the next person. Married, divorced, never married, widowed, or even grandparents who have an active roll in raising their grand kids, if you are directly affecting the lives of children in your life, than you can know God has a plan for you and those children. You can benefit from the step by step process for creating a mission and vision statement. Even if you see your children only 2 times a month, this can be created, implemented and passed down just like families that live with each other day in, day out.

I know that many people pass over this idea as if it's not important or won't change anything. If your family is already struggling, the ideas on this site can help you regain control. When you as the parent cast a vision to your children, they feel secure. They understand their value to your family and what they are shooting for. It is so important for you to give this some thought. Families that are not struggling currently, formulating these thoughts, writing them down, presenting them to your children and making them part of your everyday life will, in fact, help prevent many struggles in the future that can happen when the children don't have that direction.

I am concerned for your family. Regardless of how your family looks, those children are precious to God and He has a plan for each of you. Don't miss it by moving on to the next blog. If your children are old enough to participate, consider working on it with them as a family project.

I know you will be glad you did. You and your family are important and what you desire for your kids is worth passing down. Take the time to envision it, write it, speak it and pass it down.

100 Family Values

Now that your priorities are in order, it’s time to get to work.  Sit with your spouse with a pen and paper and start talking about what characteristics you want to see in your family. We want you to create 100 family values. Yes, I said 100! That is a lot, but don't worry about it, once you get started, you will have a hard time keeping it at just 100.  Feel free to bring your kids in on this. They offered some great ones when I got stuck around #85.  Some of the ones they mentioned were no-brainers,  but just didn't come to mind. Once you have these, take your list and move on to Creating Your Mission Statement.

Please note, my family desires these.  Listing these in no way insinuates that we have accomplished them. Rather, we want these to to grow in us as well as be planted within the hearts of our children. Having these up in front of us every day will be a reminder of what the goal is. It gives your family something to shoot for. They need to have a vision in front of them so that they will know where to go.

Our 100 Family Values are listed below and not in any certain order.

1. Intimate relationship with God first
2. Marriage before all others
3. Parenting on purpose
4. Recognizing the unique qualities of each child
5. Hard work- no free rides
6. Slow to speak -quick to listen, listen and silent use the same letters
7. Personal responsibility
8. Male Chivalry
9. Marriage = 1 man and 1 woman
10. Courage
11. Endurance
12. Generous
13. Assisting the persecuted church
14. Missions support and participation
15. Persistence
16. Biblical roles as men and women
17. Inner beauty first
18. Respectable appearance
19. Excellence, not perfection
20. Debt free
21. Eternally minded
22. Siblings before friends
23. Parent guided education preferably homeschooling
24. Liberty
25. Caring for orphans and the elderly
26. Leadership through servant-hood
27. Healthy communication
28. Acknowledging God in all things
29. Christ like
30. Family nights
31. Family unity
32. Courting over dating
33. Mentor and be mentored
34. Reading life giving books
35. Good citizenship/God’s laws first
36. Praying family
37. Interdependence
38. Fiercely loyal
39. Defend the Truth
40. Bible is the final authoritative word
41. Both baptisms
42. Financial freedom in order to give and live
43. Laugh together
44. Build each other up through our words and actions
45. Respecting our elders
46. Teachable
47. Accountability to one another
48. Exercise
49. Grace
50. Purity
51. Submissive to godly authority
52. Controlled temperament
53. Healthy view of intimacy
54. Honesty
55. Integrity before needs
56. Open worship
57. Walk humbly
58. Defend the defenseless
59. Act justly
60. Merciful
61. Repentant
62. Selfless- “You first”
63. Respectful
64. Dignity
65. Honorable
66. Self-love
67. Controlled tongue
68. Uplifting
69. Positive
70. Life-giving
71. Trustworthy
72. Bold
73. Lifestyle of learning
74. Faith in Jesus Christ
75. Passing down our vision/mission
76. Vote in each election
77. Organization
78. Punctuality
79. Likeminded friends
80. Disciplined lifestyle
81. Hospitable
82. Slow to anger
83. Loving
84. Kindness
85. Contentment and joy in all things
86. Patience
87. Sympathetic
88. Goodness
89. Lighthearted
90. Not a victim, a victor
91. Forgiving
92. Helpful
93. Non-critical
94. Always see the best in people
95. Affirming
96. Thoughtfulness
97. Emotionally stable
98. Functional
99. Critical thinkers
100. Faithful

NEXT UP: CREATING YOUR FAMILY MISSION

Creating Your Mission Statement

The first step is to brainstorm.  If you are married, try to go away for the evening or weekend or maybe just get some time away on a date that you can focus on this. If you are not married, maybe the next time you have a babysitter or have put the kids to bed, you can get some alone time.

Start out by asking yourself what a 25^th family reunion might look like in your family? What do you want it to look like? What might others be saying about your family or about each other? Now imagine if you were talking to God. What would He say to you about your family? Be as honest as you can.

As ideas start to flood your mind, write them down. Some examples might be, generous, strong, full of integrity, family centered etc. Write down dreams for your family, beliefs, traits and characteristics that are present and that you would like to see present. An example might include, “We are very hospitable, we love entertaining.” Also, write down things you don’t like, such as, “We don’t like the world’s influence on our family.”

Thanks to Family-iD, here are some thought provoking questions to get your thinking powers juiced up.

1. What is our family’s purpose?
2. If our family was perfect, how would it look?
3. What character traits do we want to see our children develop?
4. What description would we want others to give about us?
5. What are our talents and passions as a family?
6. What are our deepest held beliefs?
7. How would we like our family and guests to feel when they come into our home?

You don’t have to answer all of these, just use them to get the general picture of what you want your family to look like. Now, condense these thoughts down to several phrases. Choose the ones that are the most important values and will best direct your family in God’s vision for you. Choose 4 or 5 key phrases. Don’t worry about making a paragraph or even complete sentences at this point.

Use your 100 family values to help define these statements.

Examples of family values might be: honesty, hard working, expect excellence

Once you have these statements decided on and they best sum up your life’s mission, begin to write it out.

Remember, you want this short enough to memorize and pass down to your children and grandchildren. However, you want it to be thorough enough to communicate your full mission.

I would love to see your mission statement when you have it completed. Email me and let me know! I may even use it as an example if you allow me.

NEXT UP: CREATE YOUR VISION STATEMENT

Writing Your Vision Statement

Your vision statement gives you a picture of what you will look like when your mission statement has been lived out. It is one sentence long that is short and easy to memorize.

Have your 100 Family Values and your Mission Statement with you while creating your vision statement.

Write down statements that sum up your purpose that is unique to your family.

Example:  All for one and one for all.

Example: To live worthy of His calling.

Christ had a vision statement too. We see it in John 10:10 “I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.”

Once you have your phrase written down, ask yourself if it states what the family will become or desires to become. Is this the final picture of your family?

Our vision statement is “Stand tall.”  We chose this because of several reasons. Number one, we believe that we are more than conquerors with Christ. We are victors; therefore we want to have a vision statement that shows us as winners in the end. We also took it from Ephesians 6 where it says, “When you have done everything to stand, stand…”.

Use your vision statement when you need to. Say it to yourself when you need a boost of encouragement. Speak it to your kids when they need to hear it. I have loved having something encouraging to say to my kids when they are down, knowing that in doing so, I am pointing them in the right direction.

What is your vision statement? I would love to hear it.

NEXT UP: INTERDEPENDENCE VS. INDEPENDENCE

Interdependence vs. Independence

Do you have a Declaration of Interdependence?

You need one! What does that mean? It means that you are committed to your role as a mother or a father. It means that your family is committed to their roles as big sister or big brother. It means that each of you will strive to meet the needs of the family members to build a unified force. When families do not meet each others needs, they turn outward to friends, coworkers, drugs/alcohol, and even cults in order have those needs met. They have felt rejection from their own family and are forced outward and they become independent of the family. There needs to be respect for the roles of the parents in order for the child to feel like they want to obey. The responsibility falls on the parents to have a relationship that the children can respect. Growing Kids God's Way is an excellent study on raising children to respect and honor their parents.

Becoming independent of each other does not happen suddenly, but rather it is a drifting that takes place over time and is rarely realized until it is too late. It doesn’t happen to just children, but it also happens with husbands and wives as well.  Don't let this happen in your family! Commit to each other that you will do what it takes to put family first above others.  Actually write out a Declaration of Interdependence.  Build your team spirit; start working on it now. It is never too late!

Our declaration is not actually called Declaration of Interdependence...my husband thinks that's a cheesy name; I think it's cute.

• I will do my best to honor you with my loyalty, my time, and my resources.
• I will courageously defend you and will endeavor to keep your best interests at all times, physically as well as spiritually.
• I will work to keep our relationship strong through loving, respectful, and honest communication as long as we both shall live.

This commitment can be said between my husband and I, between any of our children or between parent and child.  Keep this in mind when writing this out. It should reflect  your desires that you want to be to each other now and forever. You can entitle it anything you wish.  Ours is Declaration of Commitment.

I can't wait to hear what commitment you came up with! 

NEXT UP: WHAT TO DO ABOUT SIBLING RIVALRY

Infighting (Sibling Rivalry)

There is nothing that steals my peace more than sibling rivalry. My children's attitudes toward one another absolutely make or cripple my day.  It is so easy to believe the lie and yes it is a lie, that sibling rivalry is normal and okay and they will grow out of it.

This is most certainly not true. Sibling rivalry may be a normal temptation for children, a normal tool the devil uses to bring divisiveness to our families, but it only continues because we let it and because we have believed the lie.

In the bible, God asked Cain where his brother Able was after Cain killed him. Cain responded with, "Am I my brother's keeper?"  The answer to that question is YES!

Have you ever noticed the amount of sibling rivalry in the Bible and how it devastated families? To name a few, Cain and Able, Ishmael and Isaac, Jacob and Esau, Leah and Rachel, Joseph and his brothers, David and his brother and the prodigal son and his brother. The twelve tribes of Israel couldn't even live near each other because of the infighting.

We know from the book of James, that our tongue is a "world of wickedness".   It can speak life and death. If we do not gain control of that little member of our body, it can send the whole body to hell. Should we not train our children to control their tongue and practice that with our brothers and sisters? How much more important is this relationship over others that we treat with considerable kindness?

I Timothy 4:12 says, "Let no one despise or think less of you because of your youth, but be an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity."

The bible also tells us that if anyone hates his brother and says he loves God, he is a liar! How can we not love who we have seen and love who we have not seen? If we love God, we will also love our brother.

We need to require our children to be kind and respectful of one another, treating each other better than their best friend.  The punishment for belittling their siblings must be strong and swift. They must know that this is the law of the house and this crime should not be committed.

Marriage is the only relationship similar to their sibling relationship. If we allow sibling rivalry to continue, we are training them up to be incapable of remaining married. If we want our children to treat their spouses with the utmost respect and honor, they must treat their brother and sister this way. Do not allow them to beat each other up; do not allow harsh words or a belittling tone. This may require some sweat and tears from the parents, but it will be well worth it.

I have personally found that when my child speaks harshly to the other, I have them rewind that statement and say it again with love and mercy. It sure is difficult for them to say..."That is mine and you can't have it!" with love and mercy. When they are forced to rethink their words with a new attitude, you can see the light go on in their eyes. Elevate the relationship above the object or issue that the fight is about. Show them that they are siblings first. I have my kids state 2 facts about each other that make them important. Then we reevaluate which is more important, the relationship or the issue. The children can now clearly see the rational in what you are teaching them. They may not remember it right away the next time an issue comes up, but you continually remind them of this each time. Eventually, this will become part of their thinking process as they learn better conflict resolution skills.

If you have found ideas that curb sibling rivalry in your families, I would love to hear your ideas.

NEXT UP: TURNING YOUR OLDEST INTO TEAM CAPTAIN

Team Captain

"God is calling us to a new level of responsibility in our family relationships." Famiy-iD

Your first born has a God given influence. When they are old enough to understand this, you can teach them to use their influence to build up the other siblings. All children expect their parents to compliment them, but when it comes from an older sibling, it means the world to them. In the same way that their influence can greatly affect their sibling for the good, they can also destroy their confidence in a single word.  Kids need to be taught how vital it is that they speak life and blessings over their siblings and not badger them or tear them down.

An incredible idea that I got from our time at the Family-iD retreat was knighting our oldest team captain.  We explained to her that God created her to be the team captain and that comes with great responsibility. When your child understands his or her influence and how great that is, they will feel a sense of pride knowing they have a purpose in their family.  You can write them a letter explaining their responsibility or you can present them with a baton that they will one day hand down to their co-captain who will then become the new team captain.  Be creative and make a big deal about it!  Your child has to understand this because of how powerful they are in the other children’s lives.

After you get your team captain on board, here is a list of commitments they can make as the new team captain:

I will treat my brothers and sisters better than I would treat my best friends.

I will treat my parents better than my favorite teacher or coach.

I will protect and lay down my life for my brothers/ sisters; I will not step on them or over them to go out and save the world.

My relationship with my brothers/sisters is a major priority, secondary only to my relationship with Jesus.

I will choose to resolve all conflicts, instead of avoiding them.

If my brothers/sisters have hurt me in the past, or they hurt me in the future, I will forgive and love them unconditionally, just as Christ loves and forgives me.

I will graciously accept the responsibility that my God chosen birth order demands.

I will be mindful of how my words and my actions could be hurtful to my siblings, even though they may not be allowing their pain to show.

(Thanks Family-iD )

NEXT UP: HOW TO BUILD TEAM SPIRIT

How to Build Team Spirit

IDEAS TO CURB SIBLING RIVALRY WHILE BUILDING TEAM SPIRIT:

Don’t allow your child to spend more time with friends than siblings. Make the sibling relationship the priority.

Be sure that if you are joking around with each other, that it is fun for everyone. If one person is not finding it funny, it is not funny.

Have Dad and son make a secret agreement to say an encouraging word daily to Mom and sibling.

Set an hourly prayer alarm on your cell or watch to go off and remind you to pray for each other. Your children can participate in this as well.

Make 2 weekends a month only for family.

Have a special day out with your child. If you have an older sibling that can drive, they can have a special outing with a sibling to create that priority we were talking about.

Older sibling can include younger sibling in core group of friends. If they are being a good example, this is a very influential tool.

Give a “Family Member of the Week” award. This prize goes to whichever child invested the most in the other siblings well being.

IDEAS FOR THE MAKINGS OF A GREAT DAD 

Have a special night out with each child once a month.

Make a big breakfast on the weekend to be special and set apart from all other meals. Then go on an outing together.

Write notes of encouragement to each other and hide them or set them in a spot that you know they will discover it.

Pray with the family before bedtime and before everyone leaves the house.

Have a weekly game night.

Spend time once a week in a family devotional teaching the Word of God to your children.

Memorize verses from the bible weekly together.

Ask forgiveness when you make a mistake.

Help get the children ready for bed, brush teeth, bathe, and tuck in bed.

Help get the boys ready for church.

When possible, bring the children with you.

Have a family outreach. (Children’s hospital, soup kitchens, any volunteer program that allows children to attend)

IDEAS FOR FAMILY ACTIVITIES

Family hour each night (Play a game, sing songs, devotional, encouraging each other with 5 things you like about that person…)

Slumber party in the Living Room -Pull out the sleeping bags or drag a mattress into the LR and have a Camp In.

Have the kids create a carnival that you all participate in. My kids love this. The ring toss, a potato sack race through the house (pillow cases work great) and many others. Have your kids create it! Then give prizes.

Have your children prepare a poem, song or play and perform it for the family. This is good for the parents to do as well. They learn the skills of creating, planning, and public speaking.

IDEAS FOR TEENS

What’s Your Beef Night? – Cook out on the grill whatever your teens want to eat and then sit around and enjoy while they respectfully share the “beef” they have with you. Allow them to hold you accountable, but with a humble spirit.

*Please send me your ideas for all ages that you have found assist your family and make it attractive.

Thanks again Family-iD for great ideas!

NEXT UP: HOW TO IMPLEMENT THIS (MAKING IT HAPPEN)

Making it Happen

The big question is “HOW?”

How do we implement the mission and vision statement, the family values,  the team spirit, the interdependence, and the end to sibling rivalry? Well first, we need to remember that this is a process. It takes time. You won’t see this happen overnight, but if you stick with it, you will find that it becomes who you are and you will see the fruit of it.

First, pray. It’s that simple. God has put this in your heart to begin with; He will be faithful to complete it in you if you will commit it to Him.

Have a kickoff party to introduce this new information to them.  We went to six flags and stayed overnight in a hotel. We told them we had some big news for them and shared it while we were there. They were very excited. You could have a pool party or cake and ice cream. Maybe you could put your vision statement on your cake. Just do something memorable that will illustrate how serious you are about this.

We introduced the idea of “team captain” with a letter to our daughter. We still want to get a baton as a symbol of her responsibilities.

We also discussed infighting and that we were bumping up the discipline if they purposely annoyed or belittled their siblings. We taught them our mission and vision statement and started on a cheer. We still have to revisit that one.

Another idea is to have a review weekend where you and your spouse go away every year and evaluate your progress and reignite the passion to begin again where you have dropped the ball.

Be sure to pick a night for family night. Remember, building your team spirit is only going to be accomplished by spending quality time together. Begin immediately on this one even if you haven’t created your mission statement yet.

Think about designing T-shirts for your family that have something on them that is meaningful like your vision or mission or family Coat of Arms. We intend to do this in a few months.

You could choose colors for your family that represent your most treasured values and design a flag, then hang it outside of your home.

You could have an Annual Family Vision Feast, even week long feasts that make this idea very special to your kids. At the dinner table, you discuss where you have fallen behind, where you desire to be and ways to get you there. Let them be involved in creative ideas to make your family more attractive to each other. Discuss your new focus for the year. Check your values, are you falling behind? Maybe the value of generosity is on your list, but you find your family has been self focused this past year. You could all commit to give more this new year. This event can eventually become your family reunions as your children grow up and have families of their own.

Whatever you do, and the options are countless, be sure to do it strong. There is no better message to give your children than the one that says, “We are committed to each other forever!”

What are some ways you keep your family focused on being a team?

NEXT UP: GOAL SETTING

Goal Setting

Goals are small visions that move us toward the big vision.  They need to be specific. They should be given a time frame to complete them. Of course, you need to be conscious of the ages of your family members. Assign your children their goals until they are old enough to realize their own. Once they are old enough, you can mix the two.

Be sure to set goals for all the important areas of your life: spiritual, physical, financial and relational.

Think of 3-4 goals you can set for the year that will help you move closer to your mission statement. After writing your goals, list some ways that you will be able to accomplish that.

Example: Your mission states you are a family that focuses on the needs of people abroad.

Your goal: to go on your first trip abroad to help in an orphanage.

Your path: raising money through car washes and garage sales and letters to friends and families, locating an organization to go with and finally set a date.

It would be beneficial to revisit your goals every quarter to keep yourselves on track. Of course, once a year, set new goals and celebrate the one you set last year that you accomplished.

Happy goal setting!

Our Tribal Plan

Our Tribal  Mission Statement

“We the W family, resolve to be Christ like, developing a standard of Godly living through family unity, service to others, and a pursuit of excellence.

Our home will be a safe haven in which to cultivate Godly virtues through parent guided education, preparing generations to respect and pattern Godly authority, fulfilling our God ordained roles as men and women.”

Our Tribal Vision Statement

“Stand tall.”

Some Ways Our Tribe Builds Family Identity

• Family night once a week (usually on Fridays)
• Daddy date night with the girls individually
• Individual outings out with mom and dad
• Family vacations
• Reading together at night
• Birthday dinners at their restaurant of choice
• Daddy wrestles with them all of the time (I leave the room.)
• We want to start camping with them as a family and individually
• Girls and I have a saying and hand shake we do.  They love it!
• Help out at Children’s Hospital together
• Help out at our Chuch’s  Ministry Center to a neighborhood in poverty
• Homeschooling
• Big breakfast every Sunday/Saturday morning.
• Slumber party under the Christmas tree every December
• Throughout the Christmas season, we watch all kinds of Christmas movies together that we have saved just for that time. The kids love FINALLY being able to see those. 
• We bake Christmas treats together as a family during the season.
• Pray with our kids every night before bed
• Hide notes to each other or place them in special places where we know they will find them. 
• We each choose a name of a person in our family to pray for each week. Each child shares what they need prayer for and the other remembers them each week. 
• We moved overseas and had to start over with some some traditions like Thanksgiving and Christmas since our family was back in the States. We found a cheap hotel, but nice, and go there every year during the holidays to take what was originally sad (being alone on Christmas and Thanksgiving) and turning it into a special stay at a beach. The holidays have become fun again!

See How to Build Team Spirit for more ideas.

Our Declaration of Interdependence

• I will do my best to honor you with my loyalty, my time, and my resources.
• I will courageously defend you and will endeavor to keep your best interests at all times, physically as well as spiritually.
• I will work to keep our relationship strong through loving, respectful, and honest communication as long as we both shall live.